dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
