Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
