like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
