He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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