I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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