I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
