my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
