we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
