he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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