ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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