They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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