Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
