Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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