Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
