I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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