Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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