Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
