I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
