I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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