I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
