I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
ok first of all what the fuck
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