New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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