I need to stop coming to work sober
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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