Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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