I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
