barbara walters just said penis...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Come on in and take your pants off
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