Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
