we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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