I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
