i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
