I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
