hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
