real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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