I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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