You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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