i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
