i think my mom watched the whole time
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
