so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
my poor anus
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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