I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I am naked and annoyed.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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