standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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