**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
