I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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