Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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