i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
there is puke in my bra ... again
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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