i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
