first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
