listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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