if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Can you bring me the toilet please
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
