If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
