If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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