Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
