i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
