so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
