just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
